Okay, so I think I should cut my hair. I haven't had bangs in almost 15 years; maybe it's time to try it again. I am tired of having people ask if I am a FRESHMAN. The braces don't help.

I like this one; it's my favorite:

1.

2. And this too, maybe the lady could mix them?

3.  And this isn't too bad, but I'm afraid I just like it because she looks so darn cute; it could be too messy on me. 

4.  I kind of like this one. It looks like it's out of her eyes.

5.  I don't like this one.

“Benefits” of Group Projects:

Actuality: One person gets stuck with it. This is earth shattering. It always happens in school projects. If the grade is a combined group grade, not individual, one person will get stuck doing the vast majority of the work because he/she cannot bear to get a bad grade. The others might do superficial work. I.e. “check over” it and catch a grammar mistake or two. Or heck, maybe even research one bit of it. But in the end, one person learns, others coast. This is not dissimilar to our current tax situation. One group of people do the work and get paid, then everyone benefits off of them, even the ones who did nothing.

Actuality: In my experience, that is because you have an easily-divisible group project. I.e., “You do problems 1-4, I’ll do problems 5-8.” or there’s not enough equipment, and you need to make groups to share. Good, right? No.

A. Unfortunately, that means the first student will likely learn the information in problems 1-4 and not the information in problems 5-8.B. Alternatively, it is one of those drill-and-kill (which have their place!) assignments with the same concept over and over again, the student either missing out on the necessary practice to cement that concept, or why are you drill-and-kill teaching something that the kids already know so well?

3) Kids can learn from each other, giving me more free space to help those that need it.

Actuality: A. If I send my kids to school someday instead of homeschooling them, I will want them to learn the information from the qualified teacher, not from each other! They can do that on their own time!Disclaimer: I don’t mind if kids learn about other points of view from each other, as long as it is brief and not the focus of the lesson. My problem is with other kids teaching the lesson-what if they have it wrong, or cannot explain it as aptly as the teacher?B. Why are you slowing down the bright kids? Separate those who can handle the information and put them in a class where they won’t be bored out of their minds helping kids who can’t or won’t care.

Application:

I actually value group projects, as ways of learning; not about the material, but about people. Let’s face it, everyone has to work together in real life, right? So the question is: are there actual people who will really do the work in a group project? They would be comparatively simple to work with. The real thing I learn from group projects is how to work with people that don’t do their work, or at least don’t do it anywhere near my standards. I hope someday (insert butterfly music) that I will get to work on something I care about with people who care about it just as much.Ways to deal with people who don’t do their work:

• Love them as Christ loved the church. Don’t have to like them, you have to love them. That doesn’t mean doing their work for them. Jonah had to do his job, after all,when he didn’t want to. I’m still working how to implement this one practically, other than not repeating “I hate group projects.” over and over again in my head.
• Tell the teacher. This is kind of a cop-out. It might work short term for school projects, but it’s harder to pass of in real life, it sounds like whining, even Eve pointing the finger. “I couldn’t get it done because of so-and-so”. I think in real life, we need people who deliver, not make excuses. (Insert clip from Princess Diaries-“We get a call, we deliver”) What’s the teacher going to do? Best case scenario, reassign you to a different group, in which case the situation is repeated, with less time to work. Naw, best case scenario would be to let you work alone, but why dream?
• Do just your part alone, not the others’. This is fair, right? However, you won’t get the grade, you’ll look like a fool on presentation day, and your group members likely won’t care

The solution? Life isn’t fair. If you want the grade, you must do the work...naaw. I'm not bitter..

Bible banging

Screamers always show up on campus once or twice a year. They are the people that stand on the busiest intersection and scream "You're going to Hell!" at the top of their lungs. They usually have signs that say stuff like "God hates fags" or "Debauchery is the road to Hell"

One showed up on campus today. He attracted about 200 students, mostly freshman. Calls himself Brother Bill, or something like that. This man, in one minute, can seemingly destroy all the careful work I've done with someone over the entire semester. The way to convert people is not to bang them over the head with a Bible. It is to love them. When we love people, spend time with them, pray for/with them and care about them, that is when people respond. The second commandment, after all, is to love one another, like Christ loved the church.

I can actually understand, to a degree, the sort of enthusiasm that some of the screamers have.  There are days when I see so many people that need Jesus that I feel like yelling too. But it accomplishes the reverse of what we need. Agh. I spend SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT (Though I suppose technically it's God using me yada yada) to attract one fish. And then the other people in the boat jump up and down and scare away not only that fish, but also any others that might be coming in.

I am working so hard to be a good example to some of my unbelieving friends. It is incredibly frustrating to feel like I'm finally, finally getting somewhere and then have it whipped away in the course of about 20 seconds. I hope that testimony I am giving is different enough that I haven't lost them altogether.

God wants spirtual fruits, not religious nuts.

Blood of Jesus

In the Dominican Republic, as all of my sentences tend to start these days, there was this once when I was about to take communion in one of the churches that had those little plastic shot glasses. I got my glass, and as soon as the man left the row I noticed that there was a crack in the glass..just enough to drip. And that the blood of Jesus was dripping on my skirt. Luckily, the bread was the poufy -absorbent- kind, so I used the body of Jesus to help wipe up the blood of Jesus..I hope that isn’t sacrilegious somehow.

Eventually we all took communion, and a few minutes afterward the lady next to me was like “What’s on your hand?”
Me: “Oh, just the blood of Jesus. It just covers everything.”
She handed me a wipe. (She had an 11 month old)

Holy crap

There are some people that are just..holy. They RADIATE holiness, like Darth Vader radiates evil. Perhaps they do have a theme song. Chris Tomlin's "Enough" maybe. Or Trading My Sorrows. But anyway, they have this superspiritual but not annoying quality; you can TELL that they are WALKING WITH THE LORD. Daily, constantly, that they love Him and He talks to them. (And walks with them..and tells them they are his own..)

These people always have the right words to pray. They don't mind being called on for praying out loud. They sound great, and you can tell that they aren't just putting it on, that they really mean it. Sometimes if you talk to them, they might say something so wise and insightful that you just take a step back and are like "Wow."

Sometimes I go to church all service, and I am so concerned with what other people are doing, or whether they're raising their hands or clapping or whatever that I miss almost the entire service. I'll walk in and have to say hello to the right people, hug the right people etc etc, and when church is over I'll think "Wait..what did I learn?" ..yeah church is partially for fellowship and all that etc etc I know.

I know I shouldn't care what other people think or are doing, But I Do Anyway. In fact, I think I care way more than most people, unless they're just great fakers too. And although my new church is great and all, all the people are plastic. They are not real. Or their realness is buried way down deep where I can't see anything.

I think I'm becoming plastic. I was real, in the Dominican Republic. I did IMPORTANT stuff every day that really mattered. I cared about people, they cared about me. Yet here I cannot feel anything, like I've burned all the nerve endings and nothing matters. The christians I hang out with are nice and all and normal, but I can't feel the "Spirit of God" the way I used to. They will talk about movies..for hours.. and spend the time making stupid jokes about anything and everything. (Again, I know we have to fellowship with other Christians etc etc). But where is the important stuff? Church should be for fellowship, but also for learning! I want to be talking about ways to take Jesus out into the school, library, trailer park, VBS, hold camps, DO something. It seems that there is so little I can do on my own. I want a team. I don't have to lead it, but I want to be DOING something.

And I want to be talking about the Bible, the given WORD of GOD. I want to hear about the Old Testament, and all the crazy little ties most people don't care about but I find fascinating. I want to hear difficult truths, I want to STUDY the word of God.

God doesn't talk to me straight out. I think he pretty much does for the "holy" people. The only info. I get is from the Bible, and I feel like I'm guessing at it half the time. Oh, sure, I can come up with a "holy" sentence with the rest of them. "I was just reading [this verse] and I just REALLY felt like I REALLY should do [this thing]..doesn't God work in mysterious ways?" (insert smile with meaningful, focused eyes). So, near as I can figure, the only way I can know what is the right thing to do is to Read My Bible. And listen to my Dad, he's always right.

I don't have a cute closing to this. I feel like a fake. I go to church and walk around and call myself Christian, yet almost all of my outward appearance is put on. I jibe at other people for being plastic, yet I am nearly plastic myself.